Our fast moving and superficial world nowadays represents a substantial challenge for the highly sensitive people. In times, when wide range of people´s emotions is treaded negatively by the society, it is not surprising, that melancholy is also repressed, smiled upon or even despised. Melancholy is a luxury, like silence, loneliness and leisure. But for many people is a horror to hold, because it could be possible, that something like melancholy arises.
I think many people don´t know or comprehend why a blue side of happiness should exist in melancholy.
Not everybody feels melancholy. Particularly sensitive people and Highly Sensitive Persons (HSP) feel melancholy, who suffer on imperfection of the world. They feel the suffering of the world and their own suffering much more intense. „The melancholic is located in a melody that wants to dance while he is still suffering,“ said my soulmate. After this conversation with my friend I began to view the topic of melancholy in a new way.
It is not uncommon that the melancholy is equated with depression. Admittedly melancholy can degenerate into depression, if the person concerned, medium and long term, loses control of his melancholy side. An excess of melancholy can lead you mental illness.
„Healthy“ melancholiacs are very longing people. It does not concern the conventional longing, based on the lack of material things such as status, money, power etc.. For those, who had seen the light before it is the higher longing for something else. It is the longing for a special moment and / or for a special place. That’s the goal. The melancholic is inwardly on his way to achieve this goal. Melancholy is thus the joy that is not yet lived out; therefore it is the pleasant anticipation. In this sense the person feels in his melancholy his anticipation, to reach the goal soon via the inner path of sadness. Only then, he would feel the joy. Melancholy is for me the caterpillar in the cocoon, which is looking forward to soon become a butterfly… and fly.
I feel completely in my being and in my soul only through the involvement and bye living my melancholy. That was not always the case in the past. Too much I despised it. Today I love being in melancholy. I would never again want to feel only joy or only sorrow in life; because they actually belong together forever and should not be felt. Excluding the one or the other existing feeling would not be healthy. Therefore, I allow myself to feel both joy and sorrow, and all other feelings associated side by side or one after the other as an overall emotion. My melancholy does not mean therefore to experience the sadness as a crash. No, my melancholy carefully and protectively carries my sadness. And the sadness is not always a bad feeling, like our society and the media suggest. The sadness when only melancholy is behind it, is just a way to get up again, so over it the goal of joy can be achieved by it. The beautiful flower of melancholy thrives and grows in sensitive people to the full glory of a red rose.
© Çiğdem Gül 06.11.2013
Picture thanks to © Alan Wolton